It seems like most things eventually come around full circle.

We used to mock our moms for deliberating over curtains and comparing paint colors. Now I love finding just the right piece of driftwood, arriving at the perfect shelf arrangement.

It feels like yesterday that I was listening intently to the mom's instructions, trying to catch all the little details, worried I wouldn't be able to remember how to fix the bottle or what time the kids were supposed to go to bed.

Now I'm leaving my daughter with babysitters.  Writing directions for feeding, bedtime, how to calm her down, when to let her cry. High school girls. They seem so much younger nowadays, I think. Surely I never looked that young...

I remember hearing the woman's accent at the restaurant, irritated with her difficulty understanding my order, thinking to myself, If you're gonna live here, at least learn the language.

Now I'm the extranjera in a foreign country, the ever learning student of the Spanish language. And even after 5 years of living overseas I still get flustered and fumble through simple questions or statements I've said a million other times, trying to catch the mistakes as they come out, feeling like the fool under the smirk of an annoyed national.

Perhaps this is another interpretation of living a full and complete life.  To live both sides of the same coin means we will at some point be the child and the adult, the giver and the receiver, the prideful and the humbled.  

Right now, we are her heroes.

It's hard to imagine there will come a day when she won't think we're the greatest, when she'll disobey, when she'll be embarrassed of her parents or hurt us with her words.

I heard someone say recently that we can't fully appreciate our parents until we have a child of our own. At first, in the wake of delivery and the weeks of pieced together naps, I could only think in terms of the beating your body takes in the birth process and the sacrifice of sleep. Now I've begun to think about the capacity to love, the unrequited hugeness of what we feel for our children, and the certainty that they will stray in one way or another.

I do feel infinitely more grateful for my parents and their sacrifice. But when I am left breathless at just how big my love is for her, at the depth of what I feel for this little person who has done nothing to earn it, who hasn't thanked us for our sacrifice, I am overwhelmed by what my Heavenly Father feels for me. By how He's ached, rejoiced, wept, and laughed over me. At how undeserved it all is.

My baby girl doesn't need a sound machine.

Raindrops fall on wide palm branches outside her open window. A fan blows softly side to side, keeping mosquitoes from landing in one place long enough to bite. The rise and fall of motorcycle engines tearing down the gravel road leave behind a trail of dust that stirs and settles on our tile floor. The far-off colmado blasts bachata rhythms, its indiscernible lyrics our weekend soundtrack. Daihatsu trucks blare advertisements from oversized speakers. Dogs bark from behind iron gates, their voices echoing across the neighborhood.  

Although I doubt very much Charlotte will remember anything from her first months of life in the Dominican Republic, I know that the noises and sights that surround her now have become her normal.  She grows restless in silence and stillness.  She much prefers the hum of a jeepeta and the uneven bounce of tires over a bumpy road.

Never for a moment do I regret having my daughter here.  I love that she has already touched her toes into sand and felt salt water splash her face.  I love that she hears around her little head a blend of Spanish and English, that she will probably know the lyrics of worship songs in a foreign language before the one spoken at home.  I love that she looks up at faces of all different colors in awe and wonder.  I love that our daughter already lives a full life.

casi 8 meses

Only about 5ish weeks remain before junior makes his grand entrance. We have been wrapping up projects here, the most recent of which involved hanging the alphabet wall. Surprisingly, all it took was quite a bit of velcro and a few cement wall hooks and glue gun tricks. While you can't see all the letters in the following pic, you get the idea. Hopefully i'll be posting more later of the room entera, after it's totally finished and you can soak it up via some panoramic photographs.

I'm thankful to report that despite beginning to get swollen ankles and sweating profusely on the long, humid, AC-free days, everything continues to progress smoothly.  At our last check-up, we were told the baby is "bien grande", but, of course, our dr. confessed, to her Tim and I are both very tall in comparison to most Dominicans.  That made me feel a little better.  

This past Sunday, our wonderful community threw us a co-ed baby shower.  Without us knowing, they had told everyone to dress up based on what they predict the sex of the baby to be.  Some of the best costumes involved cowboy boots and baseball caps with toy mop horses (pictured below).  You may be interested to know that Team Boy represented a strong majority, with 30+ folks dressed in male gear.  Less than 10 people dressed in pretty bows and represented the remaining loners who stood strong as Team Girl. Vamos a ver muy pronto...

ABCs

Finally! One of the blessings very part-time involvement at school this year has already afforded me is extra time. Time to read, time to rest, time to exercise, time to cook, and time to craft. I could get used to this. But with baby Scar's impending arrival drawing closer (only 10ish weeks, folks!), I've been advised to enjoy this luxury while I can, because soon, my life will never be the same.

Months ago I found the idea online of creating an alphabet wall in the nursery. Since then I've schemed and planned, hunted and discussed, to make the most one-of-a-kind alphabet wall yet designed. Okay, so I know I'm a first time mom, but I love the idea of creating both a mentally and sensorily stimulating space for our baby AND, si Dios quiere, one that can be used for future Scar babies as well.

So, my challenge for myself has been to find and decorate 26 letters, each of which will somehow reflect a word(s) which begins with that letter. Here are a few of my first projects. Take the challenge and see if you can guess what each stands for:

This one's actually tricky. A is for...

Thanks for the help on this one, Grandma. B is for...

Fabric courtesy of Sarah's Fabrics in downtown Lawrence. D is for...

This is actually looking out the window in the future nursery. G is for...

Not only will junior be able to read from an early age, but measure as well. I is for...

One of my personal favorites. M is for...

One of these is dated back to 1906! P is for...

On the grill for a reason. S is for...

This one's meaning is two-fold. T is for...

Not the perfect shade of red, but you get the picture. This one's a bit obvious. V is for...

Place: downtown Atlanta. Frame: Durham thrift store find. X is for...

\

Soft as a baby's bottom. Y is for...

Another (hopefully) obvious one. Z is for...

Answer Key:

1. Atlas (if you could zoom in, all the places begin with "A"--Atlanta, Arizona, Alberta, Atlantic Ocean, etc.)

2. Button

3. Duck

4. Green

5. Inch

6. Music/melody 

7. Postcard/Postage

8. Silver/shiny

9. Twine & twig

10. Vino (Spanish) = wine (English)

11. X-ing (a bit of a stretch, but X is hard!)

12. Yarn

13. Zebra

die dreaming

"Would you like a die dreaming?" Tim asks without faltering as we take our guests past La Casa de Morir Soñando. Perhaps one of the most unique and famous drinks this tropical island has to offer is a creamsicle-like, orangey beverage sold in ice cold vats along the route from Jarabacoa to Santiago. Why do I tell you this? Yet another reason worth visiting us in our little rincón of paradise.

I've been back home now only a week, and yet we've enjoyed reuniting, meeting, painting, cleaning, welcoming, hosting, projecting, and exploring. This past week our staff did a 3-day expedition "slice", or group learning process. We traveled to the nearby town of Manabao, home of our school's coffee farm.  There we joined up with another school and divided up to work on different projects. My group of 8 women was charged with painting a mural on the kids' bathroom wall. Just a peek at what it looked like before...

And after a day's worth of team work!

As I look forward to this year of very very part-time teaching and a baby coming in a few months, my hope is to do a lot more ART--painting, crafting, creating, you name it, both in our home as well as those of friends here. Truthfully I've had so little time to do what I thrive on. And as the name of the drink implies, I could easily die dreaming as I think of the prospect:)

after a long sabbatical

So perhaps I haven’t felt particularly inspired, or I haven’t had time, or just haven’t taken time, or haven’t known where to begin—regardless, this seems to be my perpetual problem with blogging.  I remain consistently inconsistent. 

Perhaps a recap of this semester will help.  Post our first Christmas in the DR, Tim and I took a little 3-year wedding anniversary trip around the island.  That was lovely, and special since we had celebrated our honeymoon here back in the day.  We began to talk about this looming question of “When will we start our family??”  I joke, but it’s true—Tim has been ready and eager to take on the role of dad long before I was comfortable discussing the possibility of being a mom.  But the Lord brought our hearts to a similar place, and soon after, the test was positiveJ 

I had some complications early on.  After some bleeding, the doctors identified a decent sized subchorionic hematoma, basically a blood clot between the gestational sac and the uterus.  So our big news was met with uncertainty and a bit of anxiety as we heard a range of opinions, from very hopeful to rather disheartening.  After praying and talking it over and swallowing a significant dose of dying to my pride that “no one can do my job”, I took off about 2 weeks to slow down, rest up, and let people take care of me.  During most of this time, Tim was at a conference in Portland.  I can honestly say though that I have never experienced community as I did during this at-home stint. People stayed with me, cooked for me, stopped by, prayed over me and “junior”, brought me goodies, watched movies with me and Beaux.  I was lacking for nothing. 

At the end of this time on bed rest and Tim’s time in the states, we returned to the doctor to receive beautiful news- my body had absorbed the hematoma or clot, and the pregnancy was strong and progressing well.  Woohoo!  I returned to school the next day and set out to treasure what became my last semester (at least for a while now) of teaching. 

The Lord supplied abounding energy in this time.  I was able to continue for the last 3 months without missing even one more day of classes.  I began to see and aprovechar so many things I had taken for granted—lunches with kids whose parents never come, in between class chats with my YL girls, after school drop-ins of lonely middle schoolers.  I soaked it up. 

Now I am nearly 6 months pregnant and Tim and I are wrapping up another 4 week stateside tour that included stops in Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, Texas, Kansas, and Colorado.  While we always enjoy our time here with friends and nephews and future grandparents, we feel ready to return home to continue doing what we love.  

Que está pasando

What's exhausting me these days...
Expeditions, YL Camp, curriculum writing, ACSI accreditation, end of the year parties, and grading papers.

What's been my escape...
A charming yet moving book I just finished this morning, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.  It was lovely.

What's lacking...
Party mix, cold weather, assorted popcorn tins, National Lampoon's Christmas Vaction, peppermint bark, and Joe's cookies.

What's gotten me into the holiday spirit...
A stunning, 10-foot, live tree in our living room (legally cut down and paid for, Bolivia crew), mixed playlists, featuring Manheim, Mariah, Bing, and Ray, lights on the house, and "pocket" advent activities with students.

What's been on the forefront of my mind...
Upcoming vacation, including a beach trip here, Tim's whole family in our Dominican home, and a 3 year anniversary retreat.

What brings me a smile every day...
Our clumsy dog. At 55 pounds and growing, Beaux still tries to sit in our laps.

What's energizing me...
Quality time studying the Word with high school girls, many of whom are seeking and wrestling and growing.

Los que confían en el Señor

We summited Pico Duarte Wednesday, September 22nd with all 12 of our 8th graders!   It was indeed challenging, but this picture says more than I can in words.  I love how radiant their faces are with victory and the new found confidence that comes when you make it to the mountaintop.  "Those who trust in the Lord are like Mt. Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever.  As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore."  Psalm 125:1-2

My student teacher Maggie and I spread out a huge sheet of butcher paper on several picnic tables joined end to end.  During devotion class last Friday we each had our own section on which to draw, write, express, and share some of the main things we learned and experienced on the trip.  Here are a few of our final reflections...

Many people climb "sin nada"- they put their packs, food, sleeping bags, todo on the mules' backs and literally carry their own water bottle and can of salchichas.  Joel's drawing shows how we chose the harder route, carrying our own packs all the way to the top.

Lucy included our week's memory verse and a breakdown of emotions along the trail.  I love "body sore" followed by "said in my mind 'I can do it'"!  Here is a pic of precious Lucy from the top of La Pelona, Pico Duarte's sister peak that we hiked up Thursday morning.

united in spirit

dear friends, i write to you briefly on the eve of our annual trek to pico duarte with the 8th grade class.  tomorrow we leave at 6am with 4 boys, 8 girls, 5 leaders, and 3 guides to climb the tallest mountain in the caribbean.  for many of our students, this will be the hardest physical challenge they have ever encountered.  our theme verses are philippians 2:2-5:

"Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."


please join with us in praying for safety as we climb.  pray that the students would trust and see the Lord provide physical and mental strength. pray that He would open their hearts to hear from Him in all new ways.  

this is why i know i could never scrapbook

I've debated what to write about the remainder of summer and these first few weeks back. (I can't figure out if I just have way too much to say, or, more likely, nothing profound or fascinating enough to mention.)  Maybe a recap of summer travels? Nope, who would read that? An apology for once again allowing such a long lapse of time between this and my last entry? No, too nice, redundant, and once again, who really cares?  So, I've landed on...

a good word

a few pics

& a kid's poem

"The true character of the loveliness that tells for God is always unconscious.  Conscious influence is priggish and un-Christian.  If I say--I wonder if I am of any use--I instantly lose the bloom of the touch of the Lord.  'Whoever believes in me, streams of living water will flow from within him'...In the Christian life the implicit is never conscious; if it is conscious, it ceases to have this unaffected loveliness which is the characteristic of the touch of Jesus." 

I've recently returned to My Utmost for His Highest, a devotional I had previously only grazed over. But WOW- he delivers a powerful word. I am being severly humbled by the meatiness of each day's reading. As Oswald so frankly puts it, when I attempt to be or do "Christian", I am simply a flat, moralistic being void of any life-giving power.  When I am fully yielded to Christ and surrendered to Him in my poverty, He fills me and flows through me in a way that is Life and Breath.  Not conjured up, but real, authentic. 

And now, meet the newest addition to our family!  Still back in the states with my parents, Beaux will hopefully be joining us mid-September. 

cute as a beauxtton

lovin' the boat

   can't wait for him to get here...

                                                    

the other nephew, Bryson, at his last t-ball game

a few of my favorites

We're back in school, which, as the middle school English teacher, means I'm already under an ever-mounting pile of journal entries, vocab quizzes, and rough drafts.  Quite often, though, I'm floored by my kids' writing.  Kids who write way better than they realize.  To kick off this year's writing workshop, we studied George Ella Lyons' famous "Where I'm From" poem.  We then each followed suit and wrote our own, examining our roots, spoken messages, the power of place, and legacy.  I thought I might share one with you. Brought to you in her original spelling, this one's by a new 6th grader who recently moved from New York back to her place of birth.  

I am from New York to Jarabacoa

and from great old serverinos deli

I am from hot sandy summers

and cold icey winters

I am from Picking strawberrys at ben’s granja

I am from Grandma Juanita

and rice and beans with chicken

I am from vanilla ice cream

I’m from sitting in the porch intill dawn

I am from don’t tell you’re sister what to do

and don’t leave your homework for last.

I am from savior’s shop

I am from Garden man Jose

and my Grandma Juanita who rased 6 children.

I am from Yaneris and Luis

I’m from forest park

and from yadi the trouble maker.

I’m from the golden familia

and from Mr. Goofy

I’m from Irma and Tiffany

I’m from Coney Island

and from Rock-n Roll

summer is here

We are back in the States. Though we've only been on US soil for a little less than a week, we've already managed to make it to Tim's 10 year reunion and spend plenty of time in Dallas poolside with the Scarborough clan. Here are a few snapshots of our first couple days back-

Meet Eli and Ezra, Tim's sister and brother-in-law's kids. They are constantly saying hilarious things that ought to be published. In fact, when I sit down on a toilet, I would rather pick up a book of their quotes over Reader's Digest any day.  I'll have to post a pic of Bryson, Tim's sister's son soon.  

In Austin, TX, we stopped by a place that has special significance to us. Our school in Jarabacoa, Doulos Discovery, owns a coffee farm on Spirit Mountain in a nearby village called Manabao. This ongoing project is the most tangible reminder of the fruits of expeditionary learning that directly impacts our students. The coffee grown on this plot of land is roasted in the DR and shipped to the coffee store above.  All proceeds directly feed back into Doulos as well as another Dominican school called Makarios.  Their motto: drink coffee, change the world.

a little some'en some'en to make you smile today:)

Wanna watch a 2 1/2 minute video of kids saying thanks? Trust me, it's worth it. Take a work break and click here: http://www.doulosdiscovery.org/. I hope it is especially encouraging to supporters and family who give and pray over the lives here.  Many of the kids in this video are my students in MS English class, my girls in YL Bible study.

Today Tim and I are at home, enjoying yet another of the inordinate amount of national holidays la Republica Dominicana has to offer.  We're not complaining.  Thank you, Corpus Christi.  Unfortunately, my backpack is 7 pounds heavy with papers-yet-to-be-graded.  Since grades are due tomorrow, I will be on lockdown for the rest of the day, working through essays, tests, and memoirs.

Tim and I fly to the states after graduation, late next Friday night.  We will head to Austin just in time to celebrate his 10 year reunion.  After that we'll spend a week with his family and then head to Tyler for family camp at Pine Cove: Woods.  We'll spend the rest of our summer touching base with supporters, inviting more folks to join our team, playing with nephews, devouring good hamburgers and BBQ, soaking up sleep, and searching for the perfect dog:)

Sometimes, it has to be BROS before...

Last weekend, Tim shocked me with a flight to the states for my 25th b-day.  As some of y'all may remember, Tim flew to Bolivia and proposed during recess on May 22nd, 3 years ago, and about gave me a heart attack.  My husband seems to be in the business of surprising, and, I must say, he pulls it off exceptionally well.  As I looked at the calendar a few months back, it just so happened that my birthday fell on the weekend of my little (BIG) brother's high school graduation.  I mentioned it briefly then..."how awesome would that be if I could surprise Blake that weekend?  That would be the best birthday present..." and he tucked that away.  Needless to say, it was far better than a stylish pair of shoes or spiffy new outfit.

What was so fun about the brief 5 days I spent in Tuscaloosa was just getting to be a sister again.  I know, I know, you never really give up being a sibling, but for the past 8 years (DANG) of being out of the house, I have lived an increasingly more separate life from Cooper and Blake.  When I think back to my years in the Brenton household, the words "only child" never cross my mind.  But in reality, Blake has lived like an only child for much of his time growing up.

Blaring rap music with the windows down, scouring the pantry for the best junk food, watching lame movies and old Office episodes, tooling around in TJ Maxx, ganging up on our parents...yep, I felt like I was a kid again.  I got to step back into his world.  Instead of being Whitney who perpetually lives in another country I was just the sister down the hall.