So...somehow the summer is coming to an end and I'm not quite ready for it to be over. How is it at camp that the days often seem eternal and more full than anywhere else yet the weeks still fly by? Regardless, I am excited about getting back to Athens and reconnecting with so many of you I miss TERRIBLY. As amazing as my summer has been, it's thrilling to know that you have all had unique and separate adventures all over the world, literally.
I think I am scared of transitions. I think part of what is hard is leaving early from camp to get back- I want complete closure here in Colorado. I know that when I get back, my heart will still be here, thinking about what I am missing. It's always a struggle to be immersed fully where I am- Even here though, I am exhausted and eager to be home, not living out of a suitcase. I am praying to finish strong. To not leave with any words unsaid or time unspent or love heldback. Looking back on entries from the beginning of the summer back in Athens, it's funny to see how the Lord brings things full circle and re-teaches them to us over and over. As many of you know, I'm pretty forgetful:)
I feel like the past few weeks I have seen my need for God like never before. Often I can think of nothing else to pray in fact, but "Lord, I so desperately need you..." I know I've shared this before, but it's been even more real and humbling the past few days. I think that I expect that practice in serving will produce perfection- not so, says my sin nature. The truth is that despite working in the kitchen for about 2 and a half months now, my attitude is still regularly selfish and prideful. I find myself frustrated and short tempered, and wanting to bite back at the few bratty kids who have nothing better to do than complain because we didn't refill their pink lemonade fast enough. Ok but really, what I love and am sensing the Lord saying to me often is, "You are missing the point...do you have an idea of how I feel now when you don't accept and treasure my gift to you?"
But there is hope, because what I am utterly and completely thankful for is the fact that Christ is the hope of every relationship. In the brokenness, or gap rather, that happens when two imperfect people interact, Christ is the only one who can restore what is un-fixable, beyond repair- and that is something to be truly thankful for. First of all, that when I refuse to extend grace I forget my own need of it and I simply don't understand nor have I accepted it fully-
It's been an unreal privilege to get to speak several times throughout the summer. I'm always amazed with how the Lord shows up and breathes truth into me when I feel unprepared or inadequate that I find later the kids directly needed to hear. I spoke earlier this week while painting a picture of the hands of a potter molding clay. I shared with these young kids about the volumes it speaks to us that God chose to make us with his hands- to literally get dirty in the process of making us. Nothing else in all of creation did he create that way- he spoke all the rest into existence. We are worth far more to him than anything else. I pray that that simple but profound truth would sink in to your heart and rock your world as it has mine.
I love you friends and cannot but have to wait just a little bit longer before being reunited.
Absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder...