Dang, it’s been way too long! So much happens and I forget to update my blog, then I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start…
I guess a good place would be to share some truths the Lord placed on my heart while we were home over the Christmas vacation. One night toward the end of the trip, I was wrestling with the Lord concerning His provision and future plans. I just planted myself in the midst of wanting to solve it on my own and sat and listened to what I felt He was trying to say to me. These were the words that I wrote down:
My portion for you is good.
(I kept thinking of the passage in Psalm 16, “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places…” but yet do I really receive all that He chooses to give me with a glad heart? Or am I too busy thinking about what so-and-so has to be grateful for the gift set before me?)
Trust me to the ends of your toes.
(Ladies, I don’t know if any of you can relate, but often the idea of trusting with our heart holds little value when we stew over something incessantly with our minds or make ourselves sick to our stomachs with worry. The Lord reminded me of Mark 12:30, “Love the Lord your God will all your HEART and with all your SOUL and with all your MIND and with all your STRENGTH.” I realized that often I am not loving the Lord when I am not trusting and surrendering to Him fully, and that I do not trust Him literally with every part of myself! Jesus pretty much covered his bases in this one statement.)
My plan for you is different.
(I realized how easy it is for me to line up my life alongside a friend’s mentally and compare what I have, where I am, what I own, what I lack…I just sensed the Lord telling me to richly dwell where I am. Tim and I have been led to Bolivia for a sure purpose by a steadfast God who creatively writes all our stories uniquely. I would never trade in what I’ve been given for anyone else’s plan or portion.)
My banner over you is love.
(Songs 2:4 says, “He has brought me to his banquet hall and his banner over me is love.” Reading this passage brought back an old cheesy Sunday school song that has been etched in my memory. How beautiful, though, to know with confidence that the Lord proudly displays his affection for us, that He stakes His mark on us and claims us for everyone to see.)
Don’t stop bringing me all your wants and needs.
(Do you ever start to feel like your prayers are going unheard? Or that your requests are just a little outlandish? This statement reminded me that the Lord desires for His children to come to Him above all, that no request is too great for Him, and that He is not offended when we lay things before His feet.)
Don’t waste your life in worry, comparison, and catch-up.
(It’s easy to step out of life overseas back into suburban America and be overwhelmed with advances that have been made in your absence. Whether people are buying houses, having babies, sporting fancy cars or just toting around the new iPhone, it’s easy to feel a need to catch up to where others are. I realized that I could easily give the enemy such a foothold in this area and once again be unsatisfied based on a standard I alone am holding myself to, a lie that I am believing of where my worth is found.)
Why would I draw your hearts there and not supply funds?
(This specifically confronts the reality of having to raise substantially more support for this upcoming move to the Dominican Republic. And yet we are always blown away rather than disappointed by God’s provisions through financial supporters. I realized that He has been drawing us to a new place and that He is the one who is promising to provide.)
I realize none of these are all that profound, but just maybe one of them hits a soft spot wherever you are. I see as I write out these truths just how simple they are and how trivial my concerns can be, but how relevant our God really is.