It’s difficult to find a place to begin-
It’s hard to sum up or even wrap my own mind around, and I’ve been taking it in firsthand. This has undoubtedly been one of the fullest, most overwhelming, undeserved, beautiful and literally breathtaking “semanas” I have survived to date. Would these journal excerpts and stolen words provide a snapshot of my first week here in Bolivia.
“Lord, the day is finally here, and I can hardly believe it. I’m sitting here, in the Miami airport, looking around, feeling alone because I am already in a foreign world- wondering where the adventure is in all this- Lord I feel like I’ve heard and said that word millions of times in the past few months and even before…pretty sure I’m living in what some would call an ‘adventure’ right now but it feels pretty weird, uncomfortable…”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
“…behold, the Lord has gone out before you…”
“God, I can’t believe I get to live this life.”
"In the quiet, in the stillness,
I know that you are God.
In the secret, of your presence,
I know there I am restored.
When you call I won't refuse.
Each new day I get I'll choose-
There is no one else for me,
None but Jesus.
Crucified to set me free,
Now I live to bring you praise...
And all my delight is in you Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord
“My soul languishes for your salvation; I wait for your Word. My eyes fail with longing for your Word, while I say, ‘When will you comfort me?’”
“This wall is glaring and it’s too hard for me to climb,
I’ve ran and ran and now there’s nothing left behind,
I see a picture of a broken man inside,
I’ve tried and tried and now there’s nothing left but time…
And I’ll wait, for you,
I’ll wait for you alone,
And I’ll wait, for you,
I’ll wait for you alone…”
“I am quite possibly the closest I ever have been to simply doing life with you- needing you, constantly aware of your presence almost like a needy child, clinging to her father. Lord would you teach me raw trust. I realize I’m a being ruled by emotional stability. Would truth be my anchor, your faithfulness my cause me to surrender everything blindly and overrule my shaky spirit.”
“Among His countless children, whom He so greatly loves and whom he heaps with tenderness and favors, there are few indeed, who truly entrusting themselves to Him, live as veritable children of God…And so it is that He welcomes with a love of predilection those souls, all too few in number, who in adversity as in joy, in tribulation and consolation, unfalteringly trust in His paternal love.”
“Once again my heart cries:
‘Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.’ (Psalm 143:8).
Would you wake me up with this every morning.”
“I’ve been struck with a stark realization that I know little to no scripture by heart and a conviction that I want to memorize verses so that I know them cold…when I wake up dead to the world each morning, would that be all I can muster up to say…It seems ever more necessary that I pray for you to incline my heart to the scriptures, to love your Word, to fasten my steps and actions to it and build my life around it.”
“Lord, I don’t know how this is- but I feel more loved here now than ever, more lifted up, backed, supported, encouraged, both by soul mate friends and family at home as well as new amigos here. How precious that distance holds no bearing in your divine economy…”
“And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, will all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit…”
“Lord, would I ‘continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not move away from the hope of the gospel that I have heard.’ (Colossians 1:23) Lord what does it take? I’m not sure I know what it means to be firmly rooted and consistent…”
And so I leave you with this:
“For even though I am absent in body, nevertheless I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ. Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him.”